Today many parents complain that our children are capricious , that they do not settle for anything, that they do not value what they have. If they lose something, it doesn’t matter, because right away we will run to replace it; If a new mobile model comes out, how can we not buy it if all of his friends have it. We have entered a spiral from which, to a greater or lesser extent depending on our purchasing power, we cannot escape. We do not say “no” to you even if your requests are inordinate or out of our reach. And not only with regard to material objects. Life revolves around the needs and wants of our children. We don’t put enough emphasis on limits and rules ; we do not motivate them towards effort and perseverance to achieve their goals. They get everything too easily: “May they have what I didn’t have” and, believing that we give them the best, we forget the importance of endowing them with a strong character, resistant to frustrations, capable of delaying reinforcement; apt, in short, to meet the demands of life.

Perhaps, the following tips will help you to make things right if you have just embarked on the adventure of being a mother, or to change them, if you are not satisfied with how your child is now.

1. Set standards as soon as possible

Children need rules and limits from the beginning that let them know what they can and cannot do. With affection, but with firmness, and taking into account his age, we must establish some routines that will help him to regulate his behavior and, as a natural consequence, his requests. If your child knows that they only eat sweets on weekends, it is more difficult for him to ask for them when you go to buy bread.

2. Encourage your responsibility

When they are young, children can collect their toys and, as they grow, we can add small tasks that they feel capable of doing : picking up their plate from the table, tidying up their room, preparing their clothes and backpack … The child must go seeing that in life you have to fulfill certain obligations that involve an effort. In that way, they will value the work of others more and understand that things are not easily achieved.

3. Avoid overprotection

Let him face challenges adjusted to his possibilities , allow him to make mistakes, but also, as he grows, you must help him face the reality of life, the difficulties, the problems, sometimes economic, that a family can go through. We cannot keep children in a bubble, making them believe eternally that the toys are brought by the Magi or that money is obtained at ATMs.

4. Spend time

Many times, children ask for new games and toys because they get bored, but after a few days, they put them aside, because what they really want is someone to play with . We, for our part, buy and buy to compensate for the little time we spend on them. We adore their happy face when we arrive with an unexpected surprise, but that enthusiasm, especially when they are small, lasts very little and the toy, which has produced so much enthusiasm, will be cornered along with the others. Surprise your child with an afternoon of games, or with a bike ride; invite him to cook with you or watch that movie with him that he loves so much and that he has already seen twenty times.

5. Teach him to delay reinforcement

If something is not really necessary, it can be postponed to a birthday, the end of the year or to reward a special effort (he has been taking care of his brother, he has cleaned the car …). If he already has an allowance, encourage him to save to get what he wants. Many times, that irrepressible desire for something is temporary and, if you postpone it a bit, it passes. On the other hand, it is not good for them to learn that everything can be achieved by simply asking for it, because, when they are adults, life will not give them anything and they will have to achieve everything based on work and perseverance.

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