4 simple guidelines for raising our children according to Harvard University

criar a nuestros hijos

We tend to scold and warn children when they misbehave or don’t do what we expect of them, but… what about when they misbehave? Do we also know how to measure up when this happens? The truth is that we often forget to reinforce their self-esteem when they do things well or when they show wonderful gestures, such as being affectionate with their friends or loved ones, or helping us set the table at home.

Parents often become obsessed with the development of the academic level and with the demands that our consumer society and high social pressure places on us every day, almost always forgetting the most important thing about ourselves, which is nothing other than our human essence . That essence that can train us as great people, capable of caring for the one beyond and sacrificing ourselves for the rest.

According to the renowned family psychologist Richard Weissbourd of Harvard University , parents often forget that the most important thing is that our children are good and happy . In fact, if we did, we would not put as much pressure on the little ones.

In this age in which education consists of setting unrealistic goals for children that guide them exclusively to academic and work excellence, the little ones assume the idea that the important thing is to succeed at any cost, even if it is based on little resources ethical, such as tripping the next person or using “chops.”

For this reason, and in the search to end this problem, Professor Richard Weissbourd developed a series of guidelines to be followed when raising a good child in what really matters. And we cannot pretend that our children are excellent people if, at the moment of truth, they only see us worried about their grades.


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How to raise a good child in a few steps


  • Spending time with the family: in a world dominated almost completely by new technologies and marathon school and work days, it is increasingly difficult to share and enjoy family time and this is essential, especially if we want to influence in a way effective and positive in their education. Share quality time with him and that he can realize that you are not only and exclusively concerned with his duties, but with his happiness in every way. Share your hobbies in your spare time, such as watching a movie or taking a break from the game console as a family. It will undoubtedly strengthen the bonds between parents and children with guarantees of success.


  • Talking out loud at home: this activity should be done every day and, to a large extent, it has a lot to do with the idea of spending time with the family. But it is important that the fact of talking to each other and telling each other our things and the problems we have on a daily basis, is something that always happens normally, such as at lunchtime, dinner or watching television for a while before go to sleep. Banishing customs of the past, such as eating quietly, will remove rigidities in our homes and help us draw closer to younger generations.


  • Show gratitude with others: when we work on gratitude we are working on empathy and respect for others, which are fundamental qualities to ensure success in our society, regardless of our academic results. If your children see that you show kindness, generosity, responsibility and respect towards others , they will have the opportunity to assume the same attitude from a young age, which will take them away from such pressing problems as selfishness or superficiality. Be careful, it is important that we show gratitude and appreciation towards our children when it comes to unusual things that happen or attitudes of an exceptional nature, because praising a good deed, which in theory should be taken for granted, such as collaborating at home, would take us away from our goal .


  • Experiencing life : being continuously on top of our children, vigilant and threatening consequences, will only make us get away from them. Remember that each life is its own and individual , and that no one except oneself has the power to decide what to do with it and where to direct it. Obviously as parents, we must know how to guide our children on that right path, but sermons and prohibitions usually do little to help in this regard. Just be an example for them , and you will not have to fear every time they go out on the street or start to grow and experience growth-specific situations. Keeping our childhood and adolescence memories alive will help us act accordingly, as we wish they had done with ourselves at the time. Allow your children to experience their life, and to pick themselves up when they fall.

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