How to educate children to also learn to lose

When children are not educated to learn to lose, they become adults who do not know how to deal with their frustration , and as a consequence or do not participate in activities that matter to them and are interesting to them (such as playing something with friends to avoid losing) or they abandon their goals in the first loss with anger and out of place tantrums . These types of attitudes generate stress and limit the way in which children should approach the game , their friends and family in an entertaining time … etc.

That is why teaching children to have a positive attitude towards defeat will help them improve their self-esteem, and will also facilitate the fact of participating in activities that arise just for the fact of having fun and having fun, focusing on continuous improvement. in those goals that you really want to achieve. All this will lead them to a better relationship with themselves and with their colleagues , and will improve their level of general socialization as well as the way they cope with life and stress both in the present and in the future.




In short, there are many benefits that children can acquire with an education that is based on guiding them in the fight against frustration and towards the benefits and learning that knowing how to lose also brings us as human beings. But, what guidelines should we follow to educate children in that knowing how to lose and in tolerance to “failure” and impotence?



Strategies for educating children to face their defeats

Although it may not seem like it at times, the truth is that the attitude we adults have in life is very important for the way in which they tolerate frustration or not and can lose without the need to get angry or upset. Sometimes we adults also get angry if we don’t get something, if our soccer team loses … there are many cases that we could surely cite, and all of them influence children, because they are always aware of how their relatives and loved ones behave. Correcting our own attitudes will be fundamental and essential to achieve the personal success of children , and then we can also focus on other questions and suggestions, such as the following:


  • When you play with children, do not prevent them from losing, it is necessary that they feel the feeling of defeat to identify their degree of frustration and the management of it. It is important that children lose with their parents so that they can educate their behaviors before they experience it with their friends.


  • It is also important that they win, because if they always lose they will recognize frustration as the normal or habitual feeling, and this can take away their interest in reaching goals, which we do not want either. In family games it is easy to control the results, so give the little ones the opportunity to win from time to time , especially when they have tried hard and their behavior has paid off.


  • Educate the behavior of children once they have won or lost. In other words, don’t let them ridicule the losers or ridicule them when they’ve lost. Your example will be very important at this point , and if you get frustrated easily and do not adequately control your own behavior, there is a greater chance that they will learn by imitation your gestures and your obfuscations before your words.


  • You should allow them to get angry when they lose, but put limits on such angry behaviors. There should be no tantrums, no yelling, no hitting. At the end of the game, emphasize how well everyone has had and do not focus on the tantrums even if they finally have, or there will be a bad memory of the day.




  • Laughing at mistakes is the best way to channel anger and frustration. When you make a mistake, highlight it with humor and express a positive attitude towards what happened. They will surely follow suit!


  • Lastly, teach your children not to associate defeat with outright failure. Losing or not reaching a goal is also synonymous with learning , and this will surely make you better prepared to win next time.

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