They are normal manifestations that are intended to adapt to new family situations . The child shows emotional and behavioral alterations in the face of changes in the demands of his family environment. They usually result in continuous calls for attention , such as behavior problems, disobedience, provocations and tantrums. They are also shown in the reluctance in front of the school work that before they did without difficulty. Also, the child’s character may change and he may be more withdrawn in social relationships.

Jealousy is temporary reactions. The child needs time to learn to share what once belonged entirely to him : the attention of his parents. However, although they are normal, parents must face them before they are established at a higher age, since, in some cases, they interfere with the development of the child and in his adaptation to the different areas of his life.


Jealousy appears because the child perceives the loss of the affection of his parents . He identifies the figure of his brother as responsible for this loss and directs the negative feelings he experiences towards him. Given this, the child acts in the only way he knows how to regain the affection that he considers to be in danger.

However, most of the time, the way you try to regain affection is wrong. Some boys try to reproduce the behaviors of their little brothers , emitting so-called regressive behaviors (they pee again, disobey, sleep and eat badly, cry, have tantrums). In some cases, when faced with these behaviors, parents tend to pay attention to the child, even in a negative way (they punish, correct or reprimand their child). In this way, they lengthen their discomfort and the children obtain the attention they sought from their parents.
Therefore, they will re-emit these behaviors.


There are factors such as age and sex that predispose children to show jealousy. In general, the frequency of appearance of jealousy increases when the age difference between the siblings is less than 3 years, the older brother is less than 5 years old and both are of the same sex. On the other hand, the most common situations that trigger jealousy are usually the birth of a sibling , the separation of parents who show a preference for one of the siblings, etc.

When jealousy ceases to be temporary and settles in more advanced ages, both the actions of the parents and the erroneous perception that jealous children generate with their siblings have usually influenced.


When a boy is jealous, his interpretation of different family situations can be wrong and exaggerated . For example, parents go to a toy store with their three children. All the brothers ask their mother for a toy and she says that she is not going to buy anything. However, the mother realizes that the little girl needs some paintings for school and buys them. The middle son does not get angry. Instead, the older one interprets that his mother has bought the paintings for her little sister because she loves her more.


  • Make comparisons . When parents want to show their jealous child what behavior they would like to have from him, they can use the little brother as an example. For example, the little sister is drawing and the older sister is making a school worksheet. Suddenly, the mother comes to see the little girl’s drawing and the older one starts crying. The mother says: “look how your little sister works without crying.” It is tempting to take as an example the behavior of another sibling who apparently does certain things better, be it school work or a domestic obligation. What you can do is make comparisons with himself: “I know you can do this better. Come, I’m going to help you “, or:” On other occasions you have surpassed yourself. Try a little harder. “
  • Increase the level of demand with the older brother .   When the little one is born, the parents may begin to be more demanding of the older and less permissive. Sometimes they may even require actions for which you are not yet prepared evolutionarily.
  • Faced with the advent of a new offspring, the best way to avoid the elder’s jealousy is to make him an accomplice of the new tasks and responsibilities . For example, if you are old enough to do so, you can take care of your child’s bathroom or feeding. Letting him know that we trust him and that we have his sense of responsibility to solve problems is very positive.
  • Use phrases like: “Your brother was so desired . Even if nothing else is added to this thought, it can generate ghosts in the listener, as well as jealousy and resentment towards the other brother. The best thing is to encourage the equitable distribution of material and emotional goods: hugs, gifts and kisses should be distributed equally. You must be very careful with family stories that, taken out of context and interpreted by a child, can cause a lot of emotional pain and jealousy. Always use the plural (“I love you”) although, of course, you can personalize in privacy with one of your children.

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