Self-esteem is not something that is within us, but it is something that is built to the extent that the people we care about tell us.

What are the elements that make up that bag that we have called SELF-ESTEEM?

To know how our sons and daughters are in terms of their satisfaction with themselves, (we could define self-esteem this way) we have to assess the following unfinished sentences, these sentences will give us the clue and are also tools to increase that self-esteem:

  • I want to get…

With this phrase they try to establish the goals that everyone has and that involve putting all the resources within our reach into action on a daily basis in order to achieve our objectives.

  • People who surround me and are important to me …

Without the support of the people around you it is very difficult for you to achieve the vital objectives that you have set for yourself, in addition, the assessment that these people make of your achievements will also mark the strength with which you face the rest of your goals.

  • The last time I told someone they got it right it was …

In addition to being important noticing that they support you, it also means an increase in self-esteem knowing yourself to make others feel good, that is, self-esteem has a reciprocal value, we feel good because they make us feel good and also because we do feel good to others.

  • In my life I am the protagonist of …

It is not only necessary to think that we are actors in our own existence, we are also indisputable protagonists.

  • Throughout my history I have been proud of …

All of us at one time or another have achieved successes to value, no one goes through life without leading the way, but the fact of getting here gives us proof of our struggle and effort to improve ourselves.

I have felt reinforced, positive when …

 

What things can we do, as mothers and fathers, to make our sons and daughters feel proud of themselves?

  • Remind them of any of the previous sentences completed by them.
  • Ask him how did he manage to feel capable in a certain situation (which is similar to the one he is having difficulties now)?
  • Assess what has already been done for them , and ask them what is the smallest thing you will need now to improve that situation?
  • Show them how proud or proud we are of them. (We forget to say it often, and the saying “it is not said because our son or daughter already knows it is not true.” We only know for sure what others make clear to us with the word.
  • Teach them to show others that they have done well .
  • Help them achieve their goals .
  • Frame the positive and proud moments in your life (it seems a lie but it always seems that the bad moments are more important).
  • Tell them how important and necessary they are to the people around them – look for concrete examples.
  • Practice ourselves, as mothers and fathers, with a new way of understanding their needs . It may not be in our repertoire to say things like the above, so you have to practice.

And we can continue like this with many phrases that lead to the same thing to make our sons and daughters feel good, in short, they love each other and feel loved and loved.

It seems very easy. Total are only words …

  • Do you remember the last time you said any of these phrases?
  • Can you say these phrases with your words?

It seems that the words and phrases are easy but even so it is difficult for us to say “I love you”, or “You have done great, I am proud of you”, it seems that we are as soft, when mothers and fathers have to be firm educators (well, so they say).

Saying these words is not easy, so it is not bad that we train ourselves to say them.

Other tool

Finally, you know that what our head is telling us about others guides us a lot in our actions with that person, if I think that my son and daughter are lazy … how will he show you otherwise? Are you sure that Will it convince you or if one day he is lazy, will he be the usual lazy again?

Sometimes all it takes is:

ACT AS IF …

It’s about the following:

If you as a mother and father believe something – about your son or daughter – it will be much easier for him or her to do it, feel it or think about it, because they will be able to do it.

I invite you to do an experiment, try this, act as if … You have to do different things, believe and act AS IF – what you want – actually happens. You are going to be surprised …

REMEMBER: The first that we should feel valuable as MOTHERS AND FATHERS are us with ourselves (otherwise we will not be able to show it to our children) and after us it is necessary that we be proud of our sons and daughters.

 

I am sorry that I failed with my oldest son and also with the other, I have a 12-year-old daughter and I notice that she does not love her, I am worried. I am 58 years old, his father 70, I just want him to be happy.

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