The Sandwich Technique to change the behavior of our children

When our children or students have negative or even aggressive behaviors, we despair because we know that this behavior must change but we cannot find the way to do it. The anguish to which this leads can put on our minds the idea of punishing children for their way of acting , but many times the punishments only get the child to continue with their behavior or to show even more rebellious or conflictive .

For these types of cases, it may be good to know the so-called Sandwich Technique , consisting of dealing with negative behaviors through reaffirmation and positive message.

But how can we praise children if they have been reprehensible? To understand it, we must think about what we want for our children and how important they are to us. This means that when they do not do well, we are saddened and worried about them and their future. So we don’t really want to offend them, even when they have misbehaved; we simply want them to reconsider and realize that they have made a mistake and that they must immediately change their attitude.

That is precisely why the sandwich technique helps us to achieve this with these fundamental principles:

  • Make your child understand that you want him to change clearly and concisely.
  • Think of a suitable and pleasant time and place to do it.
  • Use an intermediate tone to explain yourself , that does not border on the colloquial or the anger.
  • Warn him that making mistakes is something common and human , but that it should help us to reflect on what we do and the steps we want to take.
  • Do not fall into reproach or criticism, or he will not listen to you.
  • Make sure, at the end of the conversation, that you have been understood correctly.

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The importance of positive reinforcement

When you ask your child to change his behavior, accompany him with phrases such as: you know I love you, you are the most important thing to us, you mean a lot to me … These simple phrases will make the child understand that you are not angry with him but worried and that You always want the best for his life, which will make him feel loved and important in a positive way.

After the initial praise, explain your discomfort towards him and be concise and specific about why or when it started.

In short, the Sandwich Technique elaborated by the psychologist Elia Roca in her book How to improve your social skills, wants to explain to us the importance of assertiveness in the relationship with ours and in communication in general .

Constructive criticism and positive messages are always the best way for a real change, and not being judged or punished. Introducing techniques like this in the education of the little ones can be very useful so that they truly trust adults and so that they can see the light at the end of the tunnel in times of change and emotional and behavioral instability.

excellent topic to tackle youth problems. THANK YOU GOD BLESS YOU

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I think the technique is very good, thank you for sharing it.

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I did not understand the relationship with the sandwich ??

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I think the article failed to add that after the criticism, the conversation finally ends with another positive comment. For example: “You are an excellent student, but it is not correct to attack other children, you must respect others and you know it because you are very intelligent.”
It starts with positive reinforcement, then negative, and finally positive again. I don’t know if I made myself understood.

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