Many parents think that it is always better to be friends with their children, but to what extent? What is the ideal relationship that we should have with our children so that they know and do not lose the respect that they should have towards their parents?
Every time we talk about permissive parents , the first thing that comes to mind is parents who never set limits on their children , and those children do what they want when they want and where they want.
All this has to do with a control from a very young age. There are certain types of actions that, although we do not believe it or we no longer remember it, are derived from our experiences in the past. If our parents punished us in a very strong way, we try not to do the same with our children and then we allow them more freedom and we often say the phrase “they are children” when they do something that is wrong.
With that phrase we justify behaviors that are not appropriate and we do it because many times we say that we want to be friends with our children, but the truth is that it is very difficult for them to see us as such, especially in periods such as adolescence.
It is necessary that we establish rules as parents from a very young age , for example with schedules or rules within the home, which must be agreed with all members of the house so that the child feels part of those same rules. That way it will be more difficult for you to break them by having contributed to creating them.
It is as easy as sitting at a table and talking about the rules that will be common to all , helping us with a set of stickers with smiley faces that are pasted on each task that the member has done well. At the end of the week, you see who has won, awarding yourself if you want a prize that promotes, for example, culture (going to a museum, the zoo, the cinema, etc.). In this way, the child will be encouraged to continue doing the tasks correctly.
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How to avoid being such a permissive parent
In order not to be such a permissive parent and at the same time that our children have enough confidence to tell us about their problems, or simply their experiences throughout the day, we must understand that there are rules between parents and children :
- Confidentiality : This is an important issue and must be maintained. If your child tells you something, however superficial it may seem, it is not right for him to hear it from other people because you have told it. If you keep their personal experiences solely for you, you will improve your trust with your child.
- Give permission or not give permission : The moment you know who your child is with, what values you have instilled in him, and how he is mentally developed, you can give him more freedom because you will trust him one hundred percent. This is a key issue to know when we should be permissive or not safely.
This article is very nice, very attached to modern or postmodern families that overprotect their children and let us grow mentally and intellectually