Therefore, to educate our child well, we must know his way of being.
The way a child is is conditioned by the environment around him, the experiences he has and the way he is treated . However, there is a part of the personality that we bring with us at birth, which remains throughout life and which manifests itself regardless of treatment and education. There are dominant children, more insecure children, more submissive … but what does all this depend on?
This is what is called temperament. From this we can draw two consequences:
- A parent should not blame themselves thinking that it is because they are doing it wrong.
- What is true for one child may not be true for another . So they will have to be treated differently.
Nine traits that define children’s temperament
1. Activity level
If the child is very active, it will be necessary to give him many to move . You need space, both inside and outside the house. With this type of children it is necessary to try to reduce, as far as possible, the long outings that force them to be quiet for a long time. And if he can’t stop for a minute, it’s better to get him out of the situation than trying to calm him down. It is not that he behaves badly, it is that he is. When it matures it will adapt better, but for now it cannot be controlled. If we are calm, we may bear a very active child worse. But let’s think that it will have its advantages when it grows up.
If, on the other hand, the child is calm and we are very active, his pachorra may surprise us or frustrate us, but it is better to accept him as he is and enjoy the advantages of his way of being. Let’s say in conclusion that a true excess of both activity and passivity can indicate problems.
2. Regularity
It refers to the regularity of biological functions such as hunger, sleep or bowel movements, among others.
- Children very regular parents the organization of the day , although also, in return, it is difficult to change their routines before trips or other unforeseen events.
- Irregular people eat or sleep poorly until parents realize that they lack a stable rhythm . It is convenient to gently impose a schedule on them. Going to bed and eating at set times will make them feel that life is predictable, even if their internal rhythms are not. These children may take longer to learn to control pee and poop , so be especially tolerant of them.
3. Adaptability
Children who adapt easily to change are a blessing, but parents must remember that, like everyone this age, they too need stability and.
For those who endure changes poorly, it is best to maintain daily routines as much as possible. But since a certain level of changes and novelties is inevitable and even convenient, the trick is to graduate those changes. New meals, for example, will be made little by little and one at a time. By giving them frequent and easy opportunities to try new things, we help them to better tolerate change.
4. Reaction to novelty
The ease of some children to accept new people and situations alleviates many difficulties, although the problem may be their excessive sociability with strangers or the tendency to walk away alone. Those who withdraw should not be pressured for it, but quite the opposite: they should be prepared and given their time. It is essential in advance of changes and new circumstances. We need to understand them in this character trait and not make them feel that we value them less for it.
5. Reaction intensity
It is the intensity with which the child expresses his emotions. It manifests itself, for example, in the force of her laughter and crying.
- With the most intense children , it is necessary to distinguish, for example, when they must be consoled because their despair is justified , or when they must be ignored because their anger is more theatrical.
- With softer children , the danger may be that their needs are ignored. If they don’t make a fuss and don’t protest, they may not get the attention they deserve. You have to differentiate the more subtle nuances with which they express their feelings and encourage them to be more assertive and assert themselves.
6. Attention and persistence
At this age, attention is unstable, but while some children switch from one activity to another in less than a minute, others can engage in one object or activity for five, ten, fifteen, or even longer.
- The most unstable need us to accompany them in their games, talk to them about them and persist. It is not good to offer too many toys at the same time.
- The most persistent have more autonomy to spend time entertaining themselves. In return, it will be more difficult to distract them when they insist on doing or touching something they should not.
7. Distraction
- The high activity and distractibility of many one-year- olds leads many parents to think that their child is hyperactive, difficult to diagnose at such a young age. In any case, it is always advisable to maintain a calm environment around them, low in stimuli. They have the advantage that it is easy to make them go from one activity to another without being opposed (from the bathroom to dinner, for example).
- Those who are hardest to distract may be more stubborn and oppositional, so it is a good idea to give them advance notice of changes. On the contrary, they are more autonomous.
8. Sensory sensitivity
Highly sensitive children react strongly to variations (even the slightest) in tastes, textures, lights, smells, and temperatures, making them more prone to mania. In return, later they will be very detailed and sensitive people. For now let’s not torture them by imposing many more changes on them than they can bear.
Those who have a low level of this type of sensitivity give much less , although since every face has its cross, they will also be less aware of whether they need a diaper change or if rough clothing irritates their skin.
9. Type of humor
In some, joy predominates, in others seriousness and in others anger. It is very easy to find out what type our child is:
- The happy ones are a delight, but it is advisable to be alert to see when there is some frustration or discomfort behind their smiles, since they do not express it as easily as the moody.
- With those in which the bad mood predominates, you have to throw him out to admit this detail as a characteristic of him and not blame them or blame ourselves (unless that bad mood responds to some environmental cause that is affecting his life).
- Serious people have to be made to feel that we love them and value them for who they are, that we find them charming without them needing to be cute all the time.
