When a child misbehaves, it is common for some parents to resort to physical punishment . The most serious mistake of thinking that this is correct is that a great distance is created between parents and children , respect in the relationship is deteriorated and, furthermore, the root cause of the child’s negative emotion is not attacked. The best way to avoid nerves is by working so that complex situations do not occur at home, such as tantrums, and that dialogue is cultivated between all members of the family for a healthy and understanding environment.
Steps to follow so as not to make mistakes
- Take care of your needs
When children resort to bad behavior , it is often because their anger, frustration, rage, sadness or anxiety has not been addressed in time. When you feel that your child isolates himself or has a different behavior than usual, it is because he is going through something that he does not know how to communicate. Make it easy for them by asking without intimidating them , but keep in mind that many times they themselves do not know what is happening to them. A child with his emotional needs taken care of on time is a happy child who will rarely need to be scold or punish.
- Set rules at home and follow them
Establishing rules at home is a symbol of love too, and they should be set by adults, not children. They can give their opinion on the existing rules and parents can make them more flexible given the behavior that the children have or with increasing age. Children should know that there are rules to follow and that respecting them is the right thing to do, after all that is how society is run. If there are no rules at home, or they are changed from time to time or placed at the parents’ convenience (some when they are upset and others when they are happy), this can lead to emotional disorder for children .
- Show affection openly
Hugs and kisses reduce stress and also provide safety for children. In addition, they are a channel for trust and to establish better communication between parents and children. Good communication adequately channels negative emotions and in this way rebellious acts that have to end in punishment are avoided.
- Give them a space consciously
When children are babies they always want to be with their parents, but as they grow older they develop their own personality . They are realizing what they like and what they don’t like so much; of the difficulties that arise in coexistence; from natural obstacles to face barriers … Support your children in activities that give them pleasure and guide them through any difficulties that arise, but never force them to do activities they hate. It is important that you are always there, but you have to let them live their own experiences, since this is also respect and will promote their level of self-esteem.
- Find space for yourself
Parents should have their own space where the children are not and you should not feel bad about that, on the contrary, this stimulates love at home. Go to the movies or dinner without the children, enjoy a weekend with your partner, spend a few hours just for yourself … It has been proven that excessive punishment in children is often due to tired, frustrated or stressed parents who believe that they have had to abandon their own lives to raise their children.
Having children is something very big and beautiful, remember it, and… don’t let the rhythm of our daily life make you think otherwise!
