Children’s uncontrollable tantrums may have a solution. We lose nothing by trying it so pay attention …
Around the age of two, the child begins to get angry with more intensity and without attending to reasons. That adorable baby turns into a little monster capable of making us lose our patience in a few minutes. Let’s start by explaining the situation and thus understanding what is happening: you do not control your emotions , you despair and the only way you can express your anger or frustration is by screaming, crying, kicking or even throwing yourself to the ground.
From here we have talked about the fact that as soon as this stage begins we must breathe deeply, be calmer than ever, that we do not care about the looks of the people (everyone has not touched this closely in one way or another), lower ourselves to the height of the child, address him in the most leisurely way possible explaining what is happening clearly, allowing him to calm down little by little. And if he does not do it, continue calmly attending to him but ignoring his anger while we let him know that we are there when the tantrum is over.
Not all children are the same and not all will react the same. What is certain is that everyone will despair at some point. While some will little by little control this bad habit with our help, channeling their energy in a more useful and positive way ; Others, either because they are more nervous or because it is more difficult for them to control their feelings, will have it more difficult and will not advance too much, suffering impotence and making us feel bad, that we are left in front of a wall that is increasingly lost. Chaos.
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Marina MartĂn’s rage box
But it turns out that, one fine day, the Spanish psychologist Marina MartĂn reads the children’s story “Vaya Rabieta”, by the French writer Mireille d´AllancĂ© and comes up with a curious and fun technique that can make children finally start directing their emotions as they wish without hurting themselves or causing it to others.
“What a tantrum” tells the story of a child who, after the great anger, sees what he has destroyed with his anger and tries to remedy it, and while he is rebuilding his environment, he makes that great monster of the tantrum become an increasingly insignificant being until that it is so small that the protagonist, Roberto, keeps it in a box to never let it out again.
This hopeful story inspires Marina to create the “anger box”, which consists in drawing, when the child is very angry, write what he wants on paper, venting his anger. It is possible that as you do so, your discomfort will be diluted thanks to the same concentration. As soon as the idea is finished, let him observe it and add hands and feet to the doodle, thus achieving a “monster of rage”. This will relax you, you may even smile, and it will downplay the problem you were angry about. The paper will then be wrinkled and inserted into the box, never again allowing that “monster” to exit.
We think it is a different and fun way to easily relativize uncontrolled anger. It costs nothing to try the technique and try to transform that great anger into laughter and positive emotion. You will tell us if it works!
And do not forget that patience is essential in this situation and in any other in which there are children involved J
your page very interesting and instructive