The word “fail” is not always well understood in our society, which leads to it, in many cases, being given a negative connotation. Failure is harmful to our ego, but not to learning, as it has been shown that we learn better after failure , with that willpower that is born from the desire to continue and for everything to change for the better.
Why do we associate failure with the negative?
Undoubtedly, the fact that “failure” is associated with the negative also has a lot to do with the way in which it is later recorded in a person’s feelings, associating with other negative feelings and emotions that arise from that association. between being wrong and having done something wrong . But, what if we named those kinds of mistakes something else, like “new opportunity” or “keep trying”?
Perhaps our mind would be able to associate it with something more positive that would carry with it other types of positive thoughts, such as motivation and the ability to overcome. That is why it is also necessary for us to be clear that there is nothing wrong with children failing because it is a necessary fact for their learning, and the duty of adults in this sense is to let children experience and accept their own mistakes and mistakes.
But how can children cope with their failures? And how can we help them achieve it?
The role of parents and teachers in children’s failure
Children are exposed to many tasks that are continually valued, such as grades and results on the learning path in general. For example, if a young child tries to walk and fails, the result will be a fall that may cause some pain, and in this task the parents’ duty is not to ensure that the child does not fall , but that there are no dangers around you if it happens.
In the case of older children, if these children do not do their homework or do not study, it is likely that it will end up with poor grades, which is often considered a failure. The task of parents and teachers, in this type of case, is to provide the necessary explanation and understanding to be able to correct mistakes and focus on the effort to improve , and not on negativity and a feeling of inferiority. Parents, in turn, must also provide the necessary environment and adequate materials to be able to work and have adequate school progress. In other words, parents and teachers can and should act as guides, but the student should be the one who is in charge of learning to study, to work, to manage time … that is, to function alone.
It is useless for parents to do their children’s homework, or to prepare a fantastic craft for them to fulfill some pending task, because they will not be educating themselves in that effort and in that mentality of improvement so important in the development of learning and life in general. Let’s not forget that the fact that a child acquires a better grade for having received excessive help does not affect in any way their true progress or their self-esteem.
Failure and success, how are they related?
When we allow children to experience their “failure” or mistakes, we allow them to experience the sensations associated with it, such as sadness, anguish, fear or shame. These feelings are necessary to reflect and to acquire the conviction and desire to change things the next time.
But even all those feelings that are formed will depend not only on the particular personality of the child, but also on the type of education that he has received at home. For example, a child who makes a mistake will not feel ashamed of it if they have been educated in the idea that making mistakes is human and that the important thing is to find out the cause of the mistake and always try to do things better.
It is true that in childhood many times a failure is not forgotten, due to the accumulation of adverse feelings that are generated, but to stop feeling that way as time goes by, it will be very important to find a way to improve and learn from the error with logic and intelligence. This is, after all, what makes us stronger for the next test and to be better prepared each time. Failures build character and bring us closer to success in a much more experienced and conscious way.
And it is important to be aware that success depends on many factors, but without a doubt one of the most important is knowing how to recover from falls, making us wiser and stronger.
