In general, it’s about staying open to your demos, thanking them, and translating them . We can also use the questions: “What a drawing! It means you love me a lot, right? This show of interest on our part will help you to replace some physical acts with details, words and symbolic expressions. Before the kind words, a simple is always useful and didactic: “Thank you for telling me.” With this formula we will be reinforcing their secret affection towards us, but also their expressiveness.
If we remain attentive to his true affection, we can invite him to express his affection in the most natural way possible . If we notice that you like your cousin or that you are comfortable when our partner arrives, we can name that excitement in easy words that you can understand. If we say: “How nice is Paco”, that is an expression of our affection towards him. If we add a: “Do you like it?”, We will help you to differentiate yourself little by little from our opinion and to express yourself freely.
The key is to cheer without pushing . If we force them to kiss everyone and add that they are shy when they do not want to do it, we withdraw them even more.
Finally, we adults are capable of kissing, celebrating the meeting and sending congratulations to a person, to criticize them, immediately afterwards, without taking into account how disconcerting this attitude can be for a child. Let’s finally free ourselves from our own gestures of commitment or be careful with these details.
HOW TO GET AFFECTION
Children always look to their parents for modes of behavior. They will do what they see and offer what they receive. They make contact with love growing up in a family circle without restrictions or coercion. Only by participating in the love that exists in your family will you become caring adults.
To help your child not hold back his displays of affection:
- Provide a constant stream of love and acceptance .
- He must know that you love him without reservation and in an unconditional way.
- When you do have to scold him, start by telling him how much you love him and then correct his behavior .
- Try to make it clear to him that it is his behavior you disapprove of , but not him.
- Don’t seem like an exaggeration to remind him that you love him almost daily , even if you think he doesn’t need to hear it. A timely “I love you” increases the child’s security and confidence. You will see that the more you express it, the more willing they are to love themselves.
You can give affection by:
- Physical contact : hugs, caresses, kisses. Increases your self-esteem and your level of self-acceptance.
- Eye contact : the gaze of a parent wreaks havoc on your emotional levels. Produces high levels of trust and security.
- Personalized contact : in the continuous being with them in their hours of play, leisure, homework, etc. As they grow up, they need to be with their parents in their most daily activities, thereby increasing their satisfaction and their ability to accept frustrating situations, greatly enhancing their personal development.
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