And when you least expect it, the day comes when your child has his first tantrum and you ask yourself: where did he learn to yell in that way that seems like he’s going to give him something? But no, don’t worry, the world is not ending, it is just his first tantrum. There are a few left before you realize that this is not how you achieve anything and that you can express yourself in a calmer way and get better results. Of course, it depends on your attitude whether this is a passing stage or a constant in their lives. Who has not seen at some point in his life an older child protesting as if he were 2 years old?
It is precisely around that age, two years, when the child experiments with anger and rage . From the first moment he realizes that he drives the person next to him mad and that many people do not hear him give him what he wants. His personality is being formed and what he does is test how far the limits go: where I can go and where not. That is where the parents enter the scene, because we have to define through education if our son is going to mature in respect and coexistence or, on the contrary, he is going to grow up being an egoist who wants everything and wants it now .
It seems impossible to control it and also to control oneself , because the shame in front of others and the desperation to make them see reason are ideal to lose our nerves and the calm that everyone tells us we have to have. Easy once again, we are not the first or the last to go through this.
We give you three tricks that do work:
Speak very clearly
Explain the reason for not giving you what you ask for as directly as possible. He thinks that he will not understand long explanations because he may only hear her crying, so be brief and direct : “we can’t go to the park because we don’t have a car” or “we have to go to sleep to rest and be able to play tomorrow.” Repeat it if necessary keeping a moderate tone.
Give you an alternative
A resounding NO is not the same as an unaccompanied one with another option . If you can’t go to the park, offering a fun game at home, putting on music to make up dances, or anything else that distracts you from your anger is a good idea. Of course, you have to “sell” it with enthusiasm so that you get excited, and thus each time you do not get what you want instead of getting frustrated you will start to think about what alternative you have.
Don’t lose your nerves
I agree that it is easier said than done, but at least if we think that they still do not understand well and that what they claim is the most important thing in the world for them at that moment, we will gradually be able to be more patient and breathe deeply , no once, if not many times. We should treat our children calmly as if everything is normal. The child hopes to unsettle us and this unsettles him. Get him out of where he is, go to a quiet place, get at his height so that you can look him in the eye, give him the hands, repeat the reason you have given him with all the conviction possible and distract him, whatever, with something you are going to do , with a joke, in the shape of a cloud or with a red car. He’ll appreciate it if you got him out of a tantrum that he doesn’t even remember how it started. And he will have learned two things: to laugh after being angry and that you love him no matter what.
One last tip: always keep in mind the hours of sleep and food because they are the two main reasons why the little one loses the nerves. Always carry some cookies or a piece of fruit in case we do not get to feed him, and in the case of sleep, when he can no longer carry him in your arms if possible, so that he calms down with our love even though we are in the supermarket full of people on a Saturday at 8 in the afternoon.
