Respectful parenting is sometimes confused with attachment parenting and, yes, they coincide on some goals, but while the former focuses on respecting the child as a person, the latter is based on physical and emotional contact as essential at least in the first years of life.
Here we are going to define respectful parenting, a way of educating that generates conflicts between defenders and detractors . The truth is that it is difficult to understand that if we raise our children with love and concerns, of course, we try to solve, whatever method we follow, there are people who criticize it. I mean that there are many people who do not care about their children, and you, who are reading this obviously do. And here I go, whether you agree with the premises of respectful parenting, or any other, or not, well we should respect, right?
At the end of the day we are not born knowing how to be parents and putting effort and desire to do our best is already a lot. Reading about the subject, sharing experiences and changing habits if we believe that something can work better, is what really makes one a father or mother. Each family and each child are different and unique and not everything goes for everyone, so without prejudice, let’s see what respectful parenting stands for and what we can find useful about it:
Keys to better understand the concept of respectful parenting
- Empathy above all else . Putting ourselves in the child’s place so that we can feel what he feels. Get down to his height and try to get closer to his perception of life at all times, without minimizing his feelings just because he is a child. Learn to recognize and value their requests to distinguish if they are real or hide another need, perhaps attention or fatigue.
- Say no in alternative ways , such as by speaking positive: instead of not hitting the dog, we can say the dog is caressed, for example . Avoiding dangerous environments in which we have to over-control the child is undoubtedly a wise decision: instead of taking the child to your parents’ living room, which is an exhibition of glassware and delicate figurines, choose to meet them in the park directly and everyone more relaxed.
- Treat it from you to you . We are talking about a horizontal relationship in which we are all people, some smaller, others larger. But all deserve the same respect. Don’t do to your child what you would not like to be done to you. Don’t ridicule him, yell at him, or underestimate him. Listen to him, be patient and surround him with affection. Surely he will understand better what you have to say if there is a smile and a hug involved.
- Reasoned discipline . Rules exist and limits exist, but with some flexibility. The day to day is never the same and within the routine there is room for exceptions. If one day the child wants to stay a while longer in the bathtub, surely 10 minutes of delay will not upset us so much in exchange for a little more play and fun. Always reason if what they ask for can be given, perhaps modifying some point. Giving in if there is no danger or problem is not bad, but always reasoning why.
Ultimately, it is about raising in a much more attentive way to the child’s demand, their opinions, concerns and needs, avoiding conflict, replacing it whenever possible with love and empathy. And setting an example, of course. As we want them to be, we have to be …
What did you think of the respectful parenting method? Tell us!
Recent Comments