As parents we surely know that the way we express ourselves or speak, can often influence the behavior of our children .
Changing small nuances in our sentences , such a simple and simple gesture, could eventually change our lives and our way of communicating and expressing ourselves as a family.
Bernard Roth, professor of engineering at Stanford and academic director of design at the Hasso Plattner Institute, explains in one of his books that by making a small change in words , we can achieve more success.
But what are the words that we should urgently change and why?
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Change ‘but’ to ‘and’
A small example: “I would like to go to the park with my son, but I have a lot of work to do.” Instead, Roth suggests saying, “I’d like to go to the park with my son and I have a lot of work to do.”
When the word ” but” is used, sometimes a conflict is created that there is a reason not to do it and we can become self-convinced of it . However, this is not true, because in the example that we see both phrases are compatible, that is, we can go to the park with our children and finish the other things we have to do, and the way to achieve it is as simple as looking for solutions and learn to manage time.
On the contrary, when the word ” and” is used , our mind begins to process that both parts of the sentence are possible and perfectly compatible. In this way, the example shows us how, indeed, changing certain ways of expressing ourselves on a day-to-day basis can make a difference.
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Change ‘have to’ for ‘want’
The next time you say “I have to” try changing it to “I want.” This exercise is very useful to open the mind, since thanks to it we will be able to realize why we do certain routine acts or even certain things that we do not like . The answer is almost always because we ourselves have chosen it that way.
One of the examples Roth gives in his book is about one of his students. This student, in his career studies, had several mathematics subjects, something that he did not like and it was very difficult for him, but he had to enroll in them if he wanted to finish his studies.
Once he passed those subjects, he realized that the benefit of overcoming it had been much greater than the annoyance and anger that faced it had generated him.
This way of thinking is based on a key component in problem solving strategy called design thinking. When this strategy is used we challenge our automatic thinking and begin to see things as they really are, realizing that a problem is not always as complicated as it seems and that we have more control over our lives than we thought.
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Change the ‘I can’t’ to ‘I can’
When we say that we “can’t” do something, we really are not. For example, someone who says that he cannot swim, is introducing into his mind the impossibility towards himself with respect to his physical ability . But this, of course, is not true. All people can learn to swim but for this they must start by changing the “I can not” to “I can”.
Once this step is done, the person realizes that their inability to swim is only one of the options they can take and that it is not related in a real way to a physical impossibility.
In short, language can change our world and small gestures on our part can make that world much more beautiful and friendly, both for us and for those around us. That is why it is so important that as parents we consider this type of small gestures and changes since, being the most direct example of our children, in the long run we will teach them to understand that the sky is the limit for them if they really want it .
