Children who feel loved and wanted are more likely to thrive. However, this does not mean that all children who are loved will succeed in life or go down the same path. What does seem very clear is that those who prosper will have enjoyed an environment of love, acceptance, appreciation and mutual respect . And it is that the main job of parents is to accept their children as they are, including those things that we would like to change, that is, to appreciate children for being who they are, with all their strengths and weaknesses.
It is true that sometimes in life there are situations that make parents despair and lose their nerves in the face of certain behaviors of their children, but it is important not to forget the true objective of fatherhood and motherhood with respect to giving life to the seeds so that they can conveniently flourish and live fully in the future.
9 things you can do for your children’s future
- Take some time to enjoy yourself with them. The most important factor in a child’s development is often time spent together. Make sure to tell your children daily how lucky you are to be their parent, and that you could never love anyone but them.
- Observe your children daily . And don’t forget to reinforce and applaud those things that deserve it: “You’ve been working on that for a long time”, “You love being in the water”, “You dislike that a lot” … etc. The key is not so much evaluating behavior, but letting them know that you see and accept who they really are, acknowledging what they do and how they react to the world.
- Always wear positive lenses . When something about your children’s behavior makes you unhappy, remember that weaknesses are always the flip side of that person’s strengths. If one of your children has trouble controlling his anger when his sibling does not respect him, for example, try to know in detail and understand the situation before reaching the punishment or an argument.
- See things from their perspective. Children’s behavior may be irritating at times, but it’s always understandable if you take the time to see their point of view.
- Always empathize . Once children are no longer always in our arms, it can be more difficult to keep in touch all the time, but every time a child expresses something there is a new opportunity for communication, do not forget it. The key is empathy: “you seem disappointed”, “you seem to want it a lot”, “What you do is very nice”… When you welcome your children’s emotions, you give them the help they need to learn to handle them .
- Help your children. For example, learn to handle your challenges without negative labels. Ask if they have ideas on how to manage their emotions to reap the benefits, but not the downsides, of each situation. Each of us needs to work on developing skills in order to know and control ourselves . Make sure to make it clear that we all change and that as we grow, our brains also grow and it becomes easier to understand things and get to know each other well.
- Think like a child. Remember that most of what bothers parents is nothing more than normal development: children act like children because they are. But children need to know that they do not make mistakes because they are bad, but because they are human and, in many cases, because they are children: “I know you didn’t want to yell at your friend”, “You have been working hard to keep calm” …
- Manage your reactions well. Sometimes we think it is obvious that our child should change, but what bothers one parent may not upset another. A high-energy child may fit in with some families but drain others, and it is often our own stress that causes us to overreact. Try to express your needs with affirmations rather than criticism: “I see you feel like jumping right now”, “You are tired and a little irritable. Do you want to go out and play? ”
- Always be their example . Do you remember when you were a child, how vulnerable you could be and how much you wanted someone to see and appreciate you? That is what your children need. Do not forget that as a father or mother you play the most important role in the psyche and in the lives of your children. The way they hear you speak and act will be their inner voice for the rest of their lives.
So, if you tend to worry that your children are not good enough, don’t forget that obsessing can end up creating worry in them too. So if you can accept them exactly for who they are and help them see themselves in a positive light, you will be well on your way to learning how to handle even the most challenging character traits that can be given. Most importantly, you will make them feel appreciated for who they really are.
In return, your children will develop a great heart capable of loving deeply and feeling loved as well, and that is a future goal that is undoubtedly worth achieving.
