Attention deficit disorder and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder are among the most common conditions diagnosed in children today. Characterized by symptoms such as inattention, hyperactivity, and / or impulsivity , these disorders can be frustrating for parents and children alike. Living with a child who has been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD can stir up many emotions within a family. Some will be good, but others not so much, and there will even be bad ones. For example, when there is more than one child in the family and the brother of that other boy or girl who suffers from ADD ends up suffering from situations of jealousy or resentment because a greater burden is imposed on them than the other brother or sister.
All of these feelings and attitudes will be normal, of course, but there are ways to alleviate some of the negative feelings that ADD can cause in a home. Parents should remember that ADD affects not just the person who has been diagnosed with the disorder, but all members of the family. Living with it can be very stressful at times, so it is important for families to keep the lines of communication open.
Things Parents Can Do to Help at Home
- Explain to your children what ADD is so that they can “normalize” it.
- Ask how they think it is affecting them.
- Find out if they know they are not guilty.
- Build motivation and provide ideas, such as keeping a journal where they can write down how they feel.
- Share with them productive ways to express frustration .
- Tell them that it is okay to feel angry from time to time and that it is natural.
When a parent spends all of their energy supporting and finding help for a child with ADD, it is easy to neglect other potential siblings. Many parents have difficulty understanding the lack of empathy that can be generated in the latter, for which it will never be good to keep said family members uninformed about the disorder even if they do not suffer it in the first person.
When it comes to family problems, it is difficult for a younger brother to understand the needs of his brother or sister with ADD. Let us remember that they see things from the perspective of a child and not from that of an adult who has read and been properly informed about it. Do not therefore assume that your children understand it and keep an open mind to their needs.
Children with ADD have many qualities and strengths that can be enhanced with sibling involvement. If your child is an artist, encourage his siblings to sit down and draw with them, for example. Every time you encourage positive sibling interaction, whether they have a disorder or not, everyone wins from the experience.
It is very important to support each other and accept that the disorder will be part of the family, facing feelings of anger, fear, confusion, guilt or shame together. The sooner a family understands ADD, the easier it will be to relate to the child with the disorder. Understanding the emotions that will arise and dealing with them will put the family on the path of a healthy and harmonious coexistence.
Focus on the good times and make sure you are available to everyone in your family. The family is the union, and in families where a child has ADD, this will be key to making life much more bearable and happy.
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