Parenting: What is the Distinction Between a Repercussion and a Threat?

I had a viewers ask a question/make a remark recently, that I maintain handing over in my mind. I believed I would certainly share my ideas with you in the hopes that you’ll share yours also.

Also profession, right?

So here’s the sticky question/comment:

” I was really looking for the difference in between a threat as well as a repercussion and I can not see the difference if the effect is manufactured or decided upon by an additional person. That is plainly a threat. A repercussion needs to be something that’s natural, or not produced. Eg: if you touch the stove when its on you can melt on your own vs if you do not pay this costs you will need to pay passion on it.”

The response to this puzzle may extremely well come down to semiotics and ideology, so it’s difficult to give a clear-cut answer, but right here’s the scenario as I see it.

When we talk about repercussions, it’s important to note that consequences handle a selection of types. In this comment, the very first effect that is utilized as an example is a natural effect. These consequences occur without any disturbance from any person else. If a child doesn’t use a coat, she’ll be cool. If a youngster selects not to eat, he’ll be hungry.

All-natural effects can be wonderful instructors. My own kids were permitted to pick whether or not to put on layers on a brief auto flight in the winter months, as well as the cool they felt in those few mins sufficed to keep the coat fight at bay for lots of winters ahead.

Yet in some cases all-natural repercussions are not suitable teachers. Perhaps the all-natural repercussion is too high-risk (the natural repercussion of playing in an active street is being struck by an automobile) or doesn’t instruct instantly enough (falling short to clean teeth may cause significant damages to teeth, yet generally not up until a long period of time has elapsed).

When all-natural effects are not appropriate or enough, we make use of rational effects. These are repercussions that have a logical link to the behavior. If you make the mess, you cleanse it up. That consequence isn’t imposed normally by virtue of making a mess, but has a logical connection. Kids that have actually caused damage to an additional are asked to aid with getting a cold pack.Tweens that have not finished homework might not be permitted to view a TV program till the work is done. Teens that overlook time limit have their trips curtailed. Sensible.

( I additionally such as to mention that within these natural and also sensible repercussions, we ought to additionally focus on the favorable consequences of great selections, as well as be sure to enhance those with as much initiative and interest as we make with the adverse actions.)

In the instance offered by the viewers, the warm oven is most definitely an all-natural repercussion, however the late fee for borrowed money is not a threat, it’s a logical repercussion. Laid out as well as set. And also as long as we don’t always like effects– or having to apply them– effects are a part of life and also go hand in hand with options, self-reliance, and also obligation.

Logical effects may as a matter of fact be “made” as well as imposed by another person, yet I do not believe that’s the same point as a danger. Below are a couple of ways I see both as different:

In my sight, risks are used to manipulate by use of anxiety. Consequences are used to notify choices via the all-natural laws of selection and also responsibility.

Dangers are uncertain (” Don’t make me come there!”), while repercussions are clear (” If you’re tossing food at the table, that tells me that you are done eating and you require to be excused.”)

Threats are usually released in the warm of the minute and also are psychologically billed (” If you leave that door …”), while repercussions are commonly set out as clear ground rules before-hand (” If you’re intending on going out, this is our curfew and these are the consequences.”)

Consequences preferably remain consistent and can be anticipated, while hazards are irregular. A risk is typically thrown out in the hopes that the anxiety alone will affect the child as well as the follow-through won’t be needed, as well as commonly, they aren’t acted on. Alternatively, an effect is treated as an all-natural spin-off of option, and constantly imposed as a type of boundary-setting.

The equilibrium of power is also crucial to the difference between hazards and also effects. In a risk scenario, the adult intensifies the power battle by focusing on exerting their very own power. With repercussions, the power to choose stays with the kid; both the options and also repercussions are possessed by the youngster.

Tone plays a large duty too. Dangers sound, well, threatening! While effects are practical and also empathetic (” I’m so sorry you neglected to ______. What should we do currently?”)

Plainly, consequences aren’t the only tool to utilize to reply to child actions ( in my ecourse I present 10+). There are other tools to make use of, both proactively as well as in response, and also numerous might be made use of combined with each other. As I mentioned above, rational consequences might play a crucial duty in healthy limit setup. Logical consequences may additionally be utilized along with issue resolving, especially if you come to your consequence by path of “What can we do about _______?”. Including children in identifying sensible consequences develops much more ownership for the youngsters, which is where it inevitably belongs as well as where it really creates individual duty.


‘m still working with fully specifying the two for myself. I ‘d love to hear your thoughts!


the meanwhile, here are a few intriguing discussions on similar subjects:

Effects as simply one component of the problem fixing method: Very Early Childhood Information

Learn more: First Friday is Back! Dangers vs Repercussions

Obtain Extra Positive Parenting Tools:

Parenting with Favorable Guidance: Devices for Structure Discipline from the Inside Out

Leave a Reply